UFO UpDates
A mailing list for the study of UFO-related phenomena
'Its All Here In Black & White'
Location: UFOUpDatesList.Com > 1998 > Jul > Jul 12

Ohio UFO Poll

From: Stig_Agermose@online.pol.dk (Stig Agermose)
Date: Sun, 12 Jul 1998 02:00:46 +0200
Fwd Date: Sun, 12 Jul 1998 10:22:47 -0400
Subject: Ohio UFO Poll

>From the Orlando Business Journal. URL:




July 6, 1998 

By The Numbers

Wanted: A sign of intelligent life in the universe

James Kitchens 

Do aliens just love rednecks?

Is that why all the UFO sightings are in the middle of nowhere? Why
else would they have forsaken a glimpse of the bright lights of our big

And what about the alien teen-agers? You just know that, like their
human counterparts, they have been given specific instructions before
taking out the family spaceship: "Now, Newt, don't go near any of those
big cities on the third rock from the sun."

And you just know that if they are anything at all like their human
counterparts, then that's the very first place an alien teen-ager would

I admit, I love the X-Files and all its alien-inspired paranoia. But
there is a line between real live aliens and real good fiction, and
it's beginning to look a lot like some of us have crossed over.

Just the other day, I was riding in the car and overheard people
calling in to a popular radio talk show to discuss whether or not
aliens had visited the United States and whether the government was
keeping it a secret from all of us.

The caller du jour announced he was certain the government had been
capturing space ships and little tiny green men for decades and had
managed to keep it under wraps. After all, he added, the government was
just a bunch of incompetent crooks who couldn't even get the mail
delivered on time.

Our caller can't have it both ways: Either the government is made up of
nincompoops running about in ever-tightening concentric circles, or it
is made up of steely-eyed spy masters who can cajole, intimidate and
efficiently silence thousands of people over a period of decades.

(The government really can get the mail delivered on time, all right,
but then the public will begin to suspect just how excruciatingly
competent Washington really is. No, far better to continue buying $600
hammers and keep up the facade of dumb and dumber.)

Look, if the government can't keep ex-presidential adviser Dick Morris
and his toe-sucking mistress safe from the cameras of the National
Enquirer, how can they possibly keep aliens tucked away?

Very cleverly, according to an awful lot of folks. I know this because
I went to the heartland of the country -- safe, sane Ohio -- and asked
750 registered voters across the state:

Some people think the Earth has been visited by spaceships or aliens
from outer planets. Do you think Earth has ever been visited by aliens
from outer space?

The results: Almost one out of every four voters, 22 percent, declared
that aliens have already landed. Another 18 percent said maybe yes,
maybe no.

That means 40 percent of the corn-fed voters in staid Ohio accept the
possibility that our biggest alien problem has nothing to do with
non-English-speaking people sneaking across the Texas border.

Perhaps Orson "War of the Worlds" Wells said it best: "Of course there
is life on other planets. Who else would use the earth for an insane

James Kitchens is owner and president of The Kitchens Group Inc., an
Orlando-based polling firm.

=A9 1998, Orlando Business Journal