UFO UpDates
A mailing list for the study of UFO-related phenomena
'Its All Here In Black & White'
Location: UFOUpDatesList.Com > 2003 > Dec > Dec 14

Alfred's Odd Ode #383 [Ode to Andy Roberts]

From: Alfred Lehmberg <Lehmberg@snowhill.com>
Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2003 12:02:12 -0600
Fwd Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 13:28:28 -0500
Subject: Alfred's Odd Ode #383 [Ode to Andy Roberts]

Alfred's Odd Ode #383 (December 13, 2003)
[Ode to Andy Roberts]

I've been attacked in a manner egregious, off topic, insulting,
and way out of bounds by persons encountered who _practice_
malfeasance... are themselves what's accused in a way most

And I am astonished beyond all belief that these are allowed in
our midst... sullen thieves (oh, not on this List or the
*subject* at all, but on the whole _planet_ where they slink,
slide, and stall)!

They're the *accusers*, and they work to disrupt (from the
depths of their impotence where they can't get it up!) a search
that is needed, expanding our minds, in a way efficacious and,
in fact, unconfined!

...Yeah, these are, in fact, merely rats in our walls (with
respect to real rats if offended at all!) who gnaw the supports
of the truth we all need to transition ourselves and improve our
whole breed!

These are confounders and bounders and cads, who corrode our
resolve and degrade us at last -- who hate any thinking that's
out of their box... the thinking, without which, they find they
are lost!

These are a niggardly nay-saying lot with a two color worldview
to show what they've got, which won't be so much at the old
denouement... when discovered at last they're just men made of

This is the bunch who contrives to waste time! This bunch will
conspire in the theft of ones mind! This is a bunch that
colludes, and it's _stark_ , to "obscure", and "confuse" so we
miss honest marks!

This is the lot who obstructs our research! This is the lot
who's offending our search! This is the lot who conspires and
schemes to inflict heavy damage on rational themes!

These look in a mirror of self-involved need, it's a staid
status quo that they covet and feed! They do us disservice to
keep us all down, our eyes from the sky, and our knees on the

We're not alone! It's so patently obvious! Yet there are deniers
-- pretending no cant, who hobble desire and cripple
cognition... dismissing this warning as an off-topic rant!


This ode is dedicated to the errant pelicanist and ardent
skepti-bunky Andy Roberts, otherwise know as the "Yorkshire
Hatpin." Without his spurious attacks behind the scenes
regarding my character, my sincerity, and my sanity... this
particular piece would not have been produced. I look forward to
Mr. Roberts provoking similar expressions from me in the


50 years, plus, down the ufological trail and we find that we've
been standing indolently and fatuously at the starting gate,
still... Why is that, do you figure?

With the contributions of such fine persons as MacDonald,
Keyhoe, and Ruppelt humanity would take magnificent strides
forward. Invariably, though, we'd slide, slip, or otherwise,
slither back further than we were when we started... when the
three gentlemen previously mentioned were countered by the like
of Condon, Menzel, and Klass. How does that work, do you think?

When the arguments of each camp are weighed, which shows more
depth? Which proves to be more conclusive? Which demonstrates
more intellectual bravery? Which uses more science of best
practice? Which is more consistent, reliable, and dependable?

Which one uses ad hominem, character assassination, intellectual
fallacy, and obfuscation? Which is the dimensionless ideologue,
and which is the inspired idealist? Which is deliberately
abusive and sarcastically challenging? Which one follows the
data, and which one cherry-picks it? Which won't address the
points already made, and which will concede the point that's
_well_ made?

The individuals to choose from fall on either side of this
divide, and the difference between them is like the difference
between clouds and clear blue sky for the innocent observer
working to be as dispassionate as one can reasonably manage. If
the evaluator has an axe to grind, one way or the other, the
view of that divide is skewed and distorted (a lot or a little)
forgetting that it is the person who is _not_ a believer but who
_can_ believe will have the clearer alien view. But a difference
will be determinable, regardless.

Andy Roberts, in particular, is an example of the ufological
flat-earther I decry here. He's the guy that burns a gagged Monk
Bruno at the stake or makes Galileo the subject of the
conflicted inquisition. He is an example of the noisome
negativist laughing up his damp sleeve at that which he allows
himself no capacity to understand, no aptitude to accept, no
ability to incorporate, and no skill to recognize. With respect
to Mr. Roberts as a fellow human, his contributions are a boil
on the righteous ass of a real investigation, which he works
very furiously to confound, obscure, conflict, and confabulate.
Mr. Roberts' work is a fine example of the reason we seem to
take two and a half steps _back_ for every two steps forward and
he (among significant others) should be recognized as such!

He is an enemy of progress in this area. He is an obstacle to
our advancement within it. He nurtures our failure with his
(admitted, people!) malfeasance, and he gloats in the
dissolution and the obfuscation he would cause!

...Nor is he particularly organized, remotely objective, or in
any way constructive. Ironically, he is not comprehensive, he is
decidedly not flexible, and this is forgetting that he is
completely unacceptable. He only apes the specific and is, in no
way, thoughtful. He is bereft of creativity, he is astonishingly
mean-spirited, and he is patently disrespectful...

The preceding are teacher's (leader's) attributes, and if one
expects to function effectively as same, then the majority of
the preceding attributes must be positively addressed. This
paragraph could easily be an essay map. Mr. Roberts is deficient
in every listed category.

He would "guide." He would be the go-to guy! He'd be the
teacher, leader, and holder of the ufological guiding light!
But, not unlike one who shall remain forever nameless, he
doesn't appear to have a clue about the responsibility of real
leadership and so is dangerous in the extreme to the
sensibilities of individual persons afflicted by his application
of it! That being said he's probably a great guy to sit down an
have a beer with, forgetting that his attitudes suck pond water
and that alone makes me want to drown him in the broccoli
water... (long story...). Maybe I should take a rain-check on
that beer...

His own words damn him to a shallowly fatuous mediocrity! His
ironic celebrations of what is not actually wrong with Ufology
(...but that it is controlled, manipulated, and otherwise
programmed by a soulless corporate mentality worshipping
efficiency to the exclusion of -everything- else... including
human decency, quality of life, and informed consent with regard
to these things...) become increasingly impossible to ignore!
The face eating Reptoids are preferable to the person just

I recall Ellen Ripley (in "Aliens") commenting that "you didn't
see _them_ screwing each other over for a percentage," but I

Sprung from the Condon, Menzel, and Klass mold of anti-ufology,
he denigrates the unconscionable treatment of honest
researchers, celebrates the malfeasance and intellectual
cowardice of fatuous pelicanists (a nightmare we may never wake
up from), and continues, then, to take the narrowest view -
imaginable- with regard to the responsibility individuals should
have for intellectual fidelity, ethical behavior, and aggregate
consistency! In my opinion he's a knock-off of the slack-jawed
who have preceded him, and will likely end up claiming imagined
persecutions and for the same reasons, as many called to
righteous account will do.

His ufological contribution is ill timed, badly themed, and a
disservice to the respect every informed individual should
_have_ for the subject of ufology. It is "ill timed" because now
is _not_ the time to continue outrageous intellectual retreats
(out of vicious spite, I add, not the only one to think so...)
when we already have such an abundant wealth of obvious retreats
around us, already! It is "badly themed" because the repressive
and repellant nature of his manner discourages rational interest
in ufological constructiveness. It is "disrespectful" because it
does not provide the observer with an accurate assessment of
either human capability (which is, I think, too highly rated) or
possible alien capability (which, I think, is rated much too
shallowly, simplistically, and one-dimensionally). Honestly, one
only has to look at the psychological, technological, and
cultural strides _we_ have made in the last 100 years, to begin
to get an idea what *others* may have accomplished in a
thousand, ten thousand, or a million of them... even a

He is a, not so, clever instrument of ufology's dismissal, a
facilitator for its derision, and a catalyst for its, hoped for,
demise. He is the worst kind of researcher in that he drives a
virtual herd of eclectic data bits to a conclusion that he has
already arrived at (like a nineteenth century cowboy employing
19th Century cultural mores) instead of performing as the -
remotely- cognizant would, letting the data lead _him_ to the
conclusions... as he follows, humbly. That *conclusion* that
_he_ alludes to is to the lowest of low common denominators,
panders to what is base in all of us, and sells humanity short
in two venues. The first where we are more than he'd give us
credit for, and the second where we are the kinds of beings who
could get along a lot more efficiently if he and his desultory
fellow imps were absent! Time to hit a system reset button,
folks, on this scurrilous lot.

It is plain that a neo-psychosocial imperative has captured his
ufological reporting. Truly, his psychosocial cant does not seem
to advance the cause for vigorously serious investigation of the
highly strange and in fact performs the exact opposite
function... in a manner so obtuse and objectionable that it
seems almost tailor made to perform that function. All of the
preceding seems pretty clear to me.

I bring this up now because he is not so cleverly but
misleadingly *informative* with regard to the mix of his non-
informational and sneering posts, which are unwelcome (to me),
and his axe grinding ones, which are even more so. The UFO
UpDates board is liberally moderated, a liberality in the
classic sense (Classical Liberalism is the reason we're not at
the beck and call of some Roberts-inian Manor Lord). Anyone
wanting a more conservative board can look virtually anywhere
else for same, or invent it for themselves. Consider, folks!
This board exists in its own right without his manner of
contribution, where _he_ cannot exist without this board, at
all. It's the same with all his... ilk.

50 years, plus, down the, decidedly _not_ so happy, ufological
trail... and we find that we've been standing indolently and
fatuously at the starting gate, still. Why is that, do you
figure, good reader? I submit that it's not the buffoons and
public whackos that keep us at the gate (_they_ only evolve to
fill the informational void created by Mr. Roberts et. al.), but
the insidious and contrived mechanizations of persons _typified_
by Mr. Roberts! There's where the blame comes to rest. Verily!

In closing... at 1800 words this piece is not as concise as Mr.
Roberts would prefer, I'm sure. I suggest that he print it out,
roll it up in a tube, and poke himself in the eye with it for a
quicker but similar effect.

Thanks, reader, for going all the way to the bottom on this! <g>
It had to be said.