From: UFO UpDates - Toronto <ufoupdates.nul> Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 17:03:31 -0400 Fwd Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 17:03:31 -0400 Subject: Time We Made Aliens Carry Green Cards Source: Cheboygan Daily Tribune - Cheboygan, Missiouri http://tinyurl.com/7p38d Friday, May 279, 2005 It's Time We Made Space Aliens Carry Green Cards By Bruce D. Callander The television keeps showing programs about efforts to contact people in outer space. I think they are on the wrong track. Years ago, NASA sent up a space ship with a plaque of a naked couple and some mathematical equations. Then they beamed a radio signal toward the sky and set receiving stations to see if anybody would answer. All that is well and good, but I think it is a waste of time. If you listen to the people who actually have been abducted by aliens, you know that you don't have to send out messages and probes to find them. They come to you. I don't mean that those people actually have encountered aliens. Frankly, most of them sound a little nutty and their accounts of the meetings don't hold up. My theory is that instead of encountering aliens, those people are themselves aliens posing as New York cab drivers and farmers from Iowa. Think about it. They sound hesitant and confused when they talk about their experiences as though they were making them up. We know how really serious people act when they meet aliens because we have seen them in the movies and on TV. They wear white coats and talk about scientific stuff. If I am right, the aliens who have visited earth are smart enough to have some of their number pretend to be earth people who have seen flying saucers. They know that once the word gets out that somebody has seen something flying over his trailer park with little green creatures in it, nobody will pay any attention. Either that or they will go looking for crop circles and mysterious drawings. Meanwhile, the rest of the aliens will be free to make their observations without being bothered. The fact is that aliens don't want to be contacted by earthlings. Not yet anyway. If they have lived in any of our cities, they probably have been mugged or had their purses stolen. If they watch TV or listen to today's music, they probably are convinced that we haven't evolved to the point where we are worth knowing. My suspicion is that the aliens among us are college kids or, at the most, graduate students who have been sent to study us lower life forms as part of Biology 101. They scrutinize us because we are slightly more advanced than frogs and easier to observe in the wild than monkeys. We should be aware that there are aliens among us, again because of the movies and television and all those articles in the tabloids at the check-out counter. You can spot them by looking into their eyes. Most of the time, they look all right but, sometimes their pupils turn red and their canine teeth get longer. This means they are either aliens or vampires. If they don't go for your neck, chances are they are aliens. I think the movies get one thing about aliens wrong. They always show them living in rural communities, sending their kids to public school and waiting to take over the world. If that were the case, we would run into them at PTA meetings and neighborhood cook-outs and I don't think that is the way they spend their time. My hunch is that they live in big cities, where they work in offices but have their evenings and weekends off. That way, they can get together during their free time and do whatever it is they like to do. In an apartment in a city such as New York, you can do pretty much what you want as long as you don't make too much noise after ten o'clock. The reason I think that this is how it works is that I can't imagine an alien's wanting to spend a lot of time on earth. I think he more likely would serve one tour to get the hazard pay and then take an office job back home. You probably have had the experience of meeting someone interesting and trying to look him up again only to discover he has moved and left no forwarding address. The rumor is that he went to Chicago, but don't believe it. Bruce D. Callander spent 33 years writing and editing for Air Force Times. He now is a freelance writer who lives in Cheboygan.
[ Next Message | Previous Message | This Day's Messages ]
This Month's Index |
UFO UpDates - Toronto - Operated by Errol Bruce-Knapp