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Location: UFOUpDatesList.Com > 2005 > May > May 29

Time We Made Aliens Carry Green Cards

From: UFO UpDates - Toronto <ufoupdates.nul>
Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 17:03:31 -0400
Fwd Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 17:03:31 -0400
Subject: Time We Made Aliens Carry Green Cards

Source: Cheboygan Daily Tribune - Cheboygan, Missiouri


Friday, May 279, 2005

It's Time We Made Space Aliens Carry Green Cards

By Bruce D. Callander

The television keeps showing programs about efforts to contact
people in outer space. I think they are on the wrong track.

Years ago, NASA sent up a space ship with a plaque of a naked
couple and some mathematical equations. Then they beamed a radio
signal toward the sky and set receiving stations to see if
anybody would answer.

All that is well and good, but I think it is a waste of time. If
you listen to the people who actually have been abducted by
aliens, you know that you don't have to send out messages and
probes to find them. They come to you.

I don't mean that those people actually have encountered aliens.
Frankly, most of them sound a little nutty and their accounts of
the meetings don't hold up.

My theory is that instead of encountering aliens, those people
are themselves aliens posing as New York cab drivers and farmers
from Iowa. Think about it. They sound hesitant and confused when
they talk about their experiences as though they were making
them up. We know how really serious people act when they meet
aliens because we have seen them in the movies and on TV. They
wear white coats and talk about scientific stuff.

If I am right, the aliens who have visited earth are smart
enough to have some of their number pretend to be earth people
who have seen flying saucers. They know that once the word gets
out that somebody has seen something flying over his trailer
park with little green creatures in it, nobody will pay any
attention. Either that or they will go looking for crop circles
and mysterious drawings. Meanwhile, the rest of the aliens will
be free to make their observations without being bothered.

The fact is that aliens don't want to be contacted by
earthlings. Not yet anyway. If they have lived in any of our
cities, they probably have been mugged or had their purses
stolen. If they watch TV or listen to today's music, they
probably are convinced that we haven't evolved to the point
where we are worth knowing. My suspicion is that the aliens
among us are college kids or, at the most, graduate students who
have been sent to study us lower life forms as part of Biology
101. They scrutinize us because we are slightly more advanced
than frogs and easier to observe in the wild than monkeys.

We should be aware that there are aliens among us, again because
of the movies and television and all those articles in the
tabloids at the check-out counter. You can spot them by looking
into their eyes. Most of the time, they look all right but,
sometimes their pupils turn red and their canine teeth get
longer. This means they are either aliens or vampires. If they
don't go for your neck, chances are they are aliens.

I think the movies get one thing about aliens wrong. They always
show them living in rural communities, sending their kids to
public school and waiting to take over the world. If that were
the case, we would run into them at PTA meetings and
neighborhood cook-outs and I don't think that is the way they
spend their time. My hunch is that they live in big cities,
where they work in offices but have their evenings and weekends
off. That way, they can get together during their free time and
do whatever it is they like to do. In an apartment in a city
such as New York, you can do pretty much what you want as long
as you don't make too much noise after ten o'clock.

The reason I think that this is how it works is that I can't
imagine an alien's wanting to spend a lot of time on earth. I
think he more likely would serve one tour to get the hazard pay
and then take an office job back home.

You probably have had the experience of meeting someone
interesting and trying to look him up again only to discover he
has moved and left no forwarding address. The rumor is that he
went to Chicago, but don't believe it.

Bruce D. Callander spent 33 years writing and editing for Air
Force Times. He now is a freelance writer who lives in

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