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Location: UFOUpDatesList.Com > 2007 > Aug > Aug 4

ETH Indoctrination

From: Jeff Olson <jlolson.nul>
Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2007 09:32:07 -0600
Archived: Sat, 04 Aug 2007 13:00:01 -0400
Subject: ETH Indoctrination

A Case Of ETH Indoctrination

I've heard it suggested here that some people have been
indoctrinated into believing the Extraterrestrial Hypothesis,
while others have scoffed at such a characterization. While I
can't speak for others, I believe it's time I share a personal
and deeply shameful secret: I am, in fact, a tragic victim of
ETH indoctrination.

It began one innocent Saturday a year ago when Jerry Clark, my
Minnesotan neighbor just across the border, invited me over for
a beer. When I arrived, I was surprised to see Dick Hall was in
attendance as well.

Over beers, which I now strongly suspect were spiked, Jerry and
Dick regaled me with the whole majestic pageantry of UFO legend:
lurid sexual encounters with gorgeous girl-aliens, mysterious
crashed saucers and small grey-green men, magnificent orbs
flashing through the Floridian night sky and over our nation's
capital, and massive dark triangles idling silently through the

While telling their stories in low, hypnotically insistent
voices, the two UFO veterans paused occasionally to exchange a
sardonic smile, as though to silently say: "How much more B.S.
can this poor fool soak up?" I had the strong sense that if I
were to rip off their skin, I would expose smirking reptilian
faces, but by then it was too late. ETH had infected my heart
and mind, and possibly other vital organs as well.

Of course, my rational mind knows that since science doesn't
have all the answers, it follows that dinosaurs evolved into
sentient beings that live under the ocean and earth,
occasionally flying out to observe human beings and attend tea
parties. Yet whenever I begin to seriously question the ETH,
I'll get a mysterious call where someone who sounds a lot like
David Rudiak will utter a single phrase such as "Marcel's
Pajamas" or "Majestic 12," and immediately I'll fall into a
stupor, my mind flooded with powerful UFO imagery and beautiful
female Nordic aliens.

And just the other day, while I was wrestling with ETH doubts,
there came an authoritarian pounding on the door. It was Stan
Friedman, dressed in black leather like the Lizard King himself
- how appropriate, I thought - demanding to show me his latest
tome on aliens and the U.S. Government. After being made to read
it out loud - twice - I was firmly back in the ETH fold.

So while I'm not claiming that everyone who believes in the ETH
has undergone indoctrination at the hands of certain veteran
ufologists, I would strongly recommend to Ed Gehrman, Bob Shell,
or Paul Anderson that if you ever receive an invitation from
Jerry or Dick, bring your own beer.


Jeff Olson

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