UFO UpDates
A mailing list for the study of UFO-related phenomena
'Its All Here In Black & White'
Location: UFOUpDatesList.Com > 2007 > Jan > Jan 17

Re: 'I Know Why the Aliens Don't Land' By Jeremy

From: Alfred Lehmberg <alienview.nul>
Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2007 08:48:45 -0600
Fwd Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2007 11:17:18 -0500
Subject: Re: 'I Know Why the Aliens Don't Land' By Jeremy

>From: Daniel Brenton <daniel_brenton.nul>
>To: ufoupdates.nul
>Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2007 4:20:29 -0800
>Subject: 'I Know Why the Aliens Don't Land' By Jeremy Vaeni

>A Review

>Jeremy Vaeni's I Know Why the Aliens Don't Land! is a sprawling
>book that sucks us in, then teases, frustrates, and finally
>delivers in it's own way. As a recent addition to the growing
>body of alien abduction literature, Vaeni's very personal
>observations are probably the clearest answers to the phenomenon
>in memory.

>Did I like the book?


>Would I recommend the book?


>[Uh oh. He has to think about it.]

>If I were Roger Ebert, given a choice between a 'thumbs-up' and
>a 'thumbs-down', I'd definitely choose 'thumbs-left'.

>Why? - It depends on what you want out of the book.


>Last year Vaeni completed and debuted a seriously low-budget -
>make that 'gonzo' - documentary: No One's Watching: An Alien
>Abductee's Story. I have not located any distribution of it yet,
>but I think I'd enjoy seeing it - even if I had to fast forward
>to the end for a while.


Sincerity in a non-sneering artistry minus its scintilla of
guile, polished or otherwise, impresses me, Mr. Brenton, and I'm
not remotely shy about saying so. Accordingly, I wrote the
following about Mr. Vaeni's compelling film.

Contrary to other 'testimony'? It's not just _any_ mouth-
breather, I suspect, who can weave together unsettlingly, even
morbidly discomfiting electrons into a film which delivers in
the oblique way to which you allude... as to jumping to the end?
Don't you dare, Sir.

To derive the maximum effect from this overtly viral visual,
watch it early one undistracted morning after a coffee. _Try_
to take your eyes away... When it's completed, sit quietly for
a moment and Grok it in fullness, eh? Sincerity you can cut
with a knife... that cuts like a knife. Verily, you can learn
things about, 'things'... eh?


(for illustration)


Stunned Applause

Jeremy Vaeni is another one of those guys I don't know from
Bunny Pants. No, Bunny Pants isn't fair. Right out of the gate
there is more respect tendered for Mr. Vaeni than mere "Bunny
Pants" will allow.

See? "Bunny Pants" is an intimation that further investigation
may be wasted time, and that said investigation might be
considered ill advised. "Bunny Pants" abounds. Not so, Mr.

There is suspected there, there, reader. Investigation is
warranted, I'd warrant.

We'll forget for a moment that the son-of-a-bitch can write (in
a way that grabs this old soldier by his stacking-swivels)! He
can also make film equally hungry for those self-same swivels
aforementioned! Why, he's one of only two guys I know I'd like
to be able to write 'like', actually. I'm in no way shamed.

Still, I don't know him well. He could be another clever
charlatan. I've some experience with same. Still, even burned
and shy? I don't think so.

I met the guy as a result of a regular and very cleverly
executed column he writes for "UFO Magazine." It's ironic that
I'd not found him on the INTERNET, but noticed him first in a
technology as old as the 19th century... a pulp magazine, even
if an excellent example of one...

He makes films, I said. "Hungry film," I said. Did I say he was
funny? I mean that both ways, too. Laugh out-loud (with him)...
and 'peculiar' funny. But that's a good thing.

And you get the feeling that he has throttled way back on his
humor, reader, refrained from stoking that boiler
gratuitously... Eh? In his way, after his fashion, passed
through his filter and through his lens? He would have you take
him seriously.

I shall.

His film? Well... think "Blair Witch Project" but dial it back
about five points (lose a lot of the tormented snot), re-point
it into the non-gratuitous but weirdly akimbo, and then push the
un-trod path *hyperspace* button. As I've really never seen
anything like it? I can't tell you what it is... reader. I fall

Why do you watch? I can sum it up into one word. Honesty.
Honesty that is blistering to ones countenance and enough
sometimes to make you squirm in your seat.

Strange honesty! Honesty that can make you flinch, but a flinch
somehow strangely revisit-able. You have some difficulty
believing that you saw what you saw and revisit it to find that
you see what you see, you see?

Be forewarned! It is a kind of honesty that we are not used to
with virtually nothing on a thousand channels of television, a
billion web pages, and millions of books, papers, and magazines.
Vaeni's film has an honesty that hurts as an observer watches
the filmmaker explicate this hard-edged honesty safe in his TV
chair at home... deceiving himself that he is not PART of the
freak-show Vaeni pours through his assaulted sensibilities...
gird your loins reader!

Vaeni did.

What's Jeremy Vaeni on about?

A seemingly sane and abundantly rational Jeremy Vaeni thinks he
has inter-operated with the perplexing, enigmatic, and
indefatigable *other*, boys and girls; I'd be using a
duplicitously unflattering light if I just said... "abducted by

See, I shan't give the reader the opportunity to dismiss him so
quickly! I remind the reader that there is more to his heaven
and Earth than he can dream... whether he chooses to regard it
or not! Moreover, I encourage these lads and lassies quick with
that easy dismissal regarding uncomfortable concepts to which
Vaeni alludes that they are disserved by their ignorance,
disturbing news does not get better with age, and that any bliss
detected in ignorance is naught but a dangerous lie, reader,

Made uncomfortable by the honesty of Jeremy Vaeni, the observer
is served even if it is only that an observer finds heartfelt
relief they are not Jeremy Vaeni. See? In a strange way Vaeni
has courage so you don't have to, reader, even as you are
encouraged to a little courage all your own.

Vaeni has "sack" reader, an eccentric strength of tested
convictions, apparently. In a long military career I was a
veteran of combat and senior training staff at hard-corps
Officer Candidate schools, folks. I know what courage is. Vaeni
has same in proverbial spades and super-sized boxcars.

Additionally, in clarion answer to Peggy Lee's timelessly
poignant question... what the reader sees in apparent operation
around them is not "all there is." Vaeni helps strike the scales
from your weary and watering eyes about that. He's convincing
with regard to the outlandish he suggests because he is so
damned honest about everything else!

Everything else, reader.

When you see the film? You'll understand what I mean. See the
film. Everything else just gets a little bit clearer.

Winding up, I suspect the reader will agree that Vaeni's film is
many things. Among these are that the film is nothing like the
reader has ever seen. Its deprecating honesty is brutally, if
non-violently, sincere. Its production values are excellent
and damned if you don't find yourself, like extended friends and
family, really liking this strange man named Jeremy Vaeni...
even as he leads you to the very edge of credulity... where
you'll jump, yourself, if you have a lick of sense or soul. I
suspect Jeremy won't push you.

In closing: Vaeni soars and cleaves in the spirit of the finest
Giordano Bruno and, that good, may even live to grace the stake
of same. There are worse ways to end your days, reader. Read on!


In addition to producing (out of thin air by report!) No One's
Watching: An Alien Abductee's Story, Vaeni is a writer of a
regular column in UFO Magazine, and author of a book titled I
Know Why The Aliens Don't Land!

Try to keep up. I am.

See more at: http://www.valiens.com/

AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

[ Next Message | Previous Message | This Day's Messages ]
This Month's Index |

UFO UpDates Main Index

UFO UpDates - Toronto - Operated by Errol Bruce-Knapp

Archive programming by Glenn Campbell at Glenn-Campbell.com